He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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