so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
