So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
