Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
