What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
