He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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