If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
