Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
