If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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