i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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