I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
