Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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