I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
