Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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