if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
