well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
