she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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