In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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