im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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