I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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