i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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