k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
