so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
