I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
