She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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