Bisexual people are plain selfish.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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