I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
