in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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