that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
