Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize