One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
