I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
