So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
