this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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