What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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