did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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