I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never joke about your clitoris.
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