Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
