South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
