i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
