I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want a musical about memes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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