Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
