You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
