so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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