your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
