Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
honey bunches of taint.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
