i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
