So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So much rum. So many feels.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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