It's just like the Real World with babies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
