my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
